Whoa music reviews!!!

So I'm gonna start doing this thing where I'll take five records that have come out somewhat recently and review them in a very to-the-point fashion. I'm thinking it needs some sort of catchy name. Kenny suggested "Luca's Five Alive." What a fag. I'll think of one soon. Either way, here's my first installment. Enjoy my opinions, because they're always right:

Boris with Michio Kurihara, Rainbow
This Boris collaboration is not what you would expect. No doom, drone, sludge or dirge metal here. This is laid-back, bluesy, shoegazy, loungey pop with great guitar work. So good. Further proof that the Japs really are the master race.

Lifetime, Lifetime
Ten years ago Lifetime broke up. Five years ago Lifetime became really important. One year ago Lifetime reunited. A couple of weeks ago Lifetime put out this record and it totally kicks ass. This sounds exactly like they always have, but maybe even with a better sense of melody. Fuck all those elitist hipsters who will write this shit off. Fuck all those Clap Your Hands Say Yeahs and Deerhooves. Lifetime fucking rules, and they always have.

Joe Lally, There to Here
Yesterday Kenny wrote a post about how much ass Fugazi kicks (kicked?). And I couldn’t agree more. This is the super-stripped down solo effort by Fugazi’s bass player. I want to like this, I really do. But a bass player doing an almost all-bass album, even when he’s played in a band as amazing as Fugazi, fails to excite and hold my attention. This is still 6 billion times better than the latest Shins album. Fuck that band.

KTL, KTL
This is a collaborative effort by Stephen O’Malley of SunnO))) (can I get a ‘fuck yeah?’) and some English electronic artist named Peter Rehberg, who you’ll only know if you’re a giant fucking nerd. The concept on this record kicks ass: half of it was recorded in some dank French basement during a thunderstorm while the other half was recorded in a greenhouse in the middle of a pasture during a beautiful spring day. This process is supposed to give songs either an evil, menacing tone or a bright, uplifting mood. The truth is, these “songs” have very little emotion at all. This is ambiance at its absolute barest. Even O’Malley, king of the massive riff, barely plays an audible chord. This shit is strictly for nerds, dweebs, geeks, and squares.

Clouds, Legendary Demo
We love Clouds. This is dirty, stoney rock and fucking roll. Take this CD, put it in your stereo, and turn the volume up. What’s that you smell? Is your downstairs neighbor smoking weed again? No, no. That reefer smell is coming from your stereo. Seriously, listen to this fucking album and try to tell me that Adam wasn’t smoking tons of grass while writing and recording this shit. Sober minds don’t write riffs this kick ass. Sober voices don’t wail like that. Fuck yeah, dude. This shit fires me up.

Since we here at 18+ are such huge Clouds nerds, I’m gonna command you to go over to their MySpace page right now and listen to the two live tracks they just posted. Prepare to have your face melted: CLOUDS MOTHERFUCKERS!